I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
