He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
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