So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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