NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
