god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
