People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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