Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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