worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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