didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Drunk is not a location!
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
