There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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