Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
