I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
