You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
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