just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
