I hope mine doesn't look like that
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
