hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Randomize
