I could have mohawked her pubes.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
i out mim tonsoeep
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