Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
This is classic penis vs brain.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
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