I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
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