I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
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