how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
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