I'm going to rape someone's good day.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
