When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Everclear isn't food dammit
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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