I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
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