just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Randomize
