all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
