bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
