But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Of course I have a pirate flag
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize