proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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