worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
