she was so not down for the gang bang
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
