I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
