The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Randomize