Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
