my sisters under your porch take her home
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Randomize
