Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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