He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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