this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
