Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
