If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
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