this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
