When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
