I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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