i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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