dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
