there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
