I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
