Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
