I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
