would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Randomize
