I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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