It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
