sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
