well I can't set my house on fire every night
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Randomize
