SEEEEXXX PLEASE
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
