who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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