dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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