Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Reggie can tackle my bush.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
