okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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