I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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