Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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