just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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