I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Boobs speak an international language.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
