So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
