I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
It's blow job season.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
