no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
