I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
