yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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