one might say we're banned from that church
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
