i permit you to call me
so that wasnt chicken after all
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize