If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
