I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize