Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
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