i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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