She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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