Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Screwed.edu
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
