someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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